I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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