From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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