Who wears a wallet chain?!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
