People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
