Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
