They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
