You really coming over, don't trick.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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