Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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