I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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