the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My vagina just clenched in fear
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