I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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