hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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