My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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