ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
