I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
