I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
