he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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