yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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