we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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