worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
