The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
