It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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