if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
