my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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