I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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