Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
