just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
