the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
