I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
4 words: hood of his car
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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