In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Its about making memories worth repressing
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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