i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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