He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Say something about gay babies.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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