My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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