I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize