Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
