don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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