You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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