spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
