You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
