Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize