At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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