oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
