The maid of honor just puked.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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