drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
