just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
