so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
