As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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