Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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