That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We have started to decorate penises.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize