you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
