how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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