What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Me too!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize