K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
