I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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