are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
