Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
