He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
