He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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