I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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