I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
