i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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