maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
