Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
